Relationship Assessement Grid

  • Is there a possible quiz result which is “healthy”, or does everybody comes into one of the 4 quadrants?

Essentially no. In RLT we say that we are "In Recovery". You may live from the Circle of Health 99% of the day, or year, but on that rare occasion you are not in the circle of health, where do you tend to go? The closer someone is to the circle of health, the better their boundaries and self-esteem. For instance, someone who raises her voice at her partner may be in the upper right quadrant. If she punches her partner, she is still in the upper right quadrant, just further away from the circle of health.

​​It is tempting for us to say, "well at least I don't punch my partner" - but this grid makes us take a hard look at how non-relational some of our behaviours are and own it - so we can then work on changing it. The direction of change is based on where you fall in the quadrant. So the person in the upper right quadrant needs to work on pulling themself back in from being boundary-less and pull themselves down from grandiosity.

People can have extreme scores or mild scores in any of the quadrants. We are working on refining the scoring system so that it will tell you whether your score in any quadrant indicates how close to the circle of health you are.

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