Questions About the RLT Modality

• Is Relational Life Therapy trauma-informed? 

The RLT model is trauma-informed, but is NOT a trauma treatment. The focus is on relational recovery and healing interpersonal trauma from childhood experiences. If there is a specific checklist of standard for trauma-informed therapy, RLT may or may not fit the description.

• Does Relational Life Therapy include any subconscious reprogramming or neuroscience techniques?

RLT is informed by neuroscience and Terry has collaborated with Dan Siegel in the past. We do not use any subconscious reprogramming techniques like NLP. RLT's approach is much more conscious and intentional shifts in behaviour to become more relational.

• What is RLT’s philosophy when working with substance, sexual, technology addictions?

These types of addictions are what we call preconditions. They must be adequately dealt with in order for RLT couple therapy to proceed. A therapist trained in those modalities might deal with it themselves, otherwise we refer out, generally to treatment programs.

• Does RLT use the language of parts like IFS? I've been having some success using parts language with my clients.

We identify parts of the self as Wise Adult, Adaptive Child, and Wounded Child. In RLT we are primarily concerned with the Wise Adult and the Adaptive Child.

• What is Terry's framework for sessions? How long is a typical session, 1 hour? 90 minutes? intensive 2-3 days? Will I receive this kind of guidance in full certification training?

There is no one right answer to this question. If you decide to join Certification we encourage you to get into the nuanced answer with our Faculty as this is different for many practitioners. Most RLT therapists do longer sessions, 1.5 to 2 hours, every two weeks, but it depends on the couple and their needs. Some RLT therapists do one or two day intensive and some don’t.

• How does Relational Life Therapy compare to other models like, Gottman, PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) and EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy)? 

RLT trains therapists to utilize a variety of therapeutic stances to fit the needs of their clients at different points in therapy, and to help the therapist stay grounded and on track with the goals of therapy. RLT certification provides a larger library of courses and observation of therapy in action than any other model we know of.

Relational Life Therapy, Gottman Method Couples Therapy, PACT, and EFT are all different approaches to couples therapy, and each has its own unique features and strengths. Here are some ways RLT sets itself apart from the others.

1. Focus on power and control:

1. RLT places a strong emphasis on the dynamics of power and control in relationships, and how these dynamics can contribute to relationship problems. The therapy helps individuals and couples to identify and change negative patterns of behavior that perpetuate these dynamics.

2. Addressing childhood experiences:

1. RLT places a significant focus on childhood experiences especially those that are relationally traumatizing. This approach helps clients to understand the

underlying issues that may be contributing to their relationship problems, and to develop more effective ways of relating to their partners.

3. RLT focuses on "Waking up the Client"

1. RLT therapists and Coaches understand that waking clients up to what they are doing wrong in their relationships is only the beginning. Like other modalities, RLT teaches people practical skills that they can use to develop intimacy and to navigate the inevitable cycles of “harmony, disharmony and repair.”

4. Use of confrontational techniques:

1. RLT can involve a confrontational approach to therapy, which may be more direct and challenging than other approaches. The therapist may challenge clients to take responsibility for their behavior and to make changes to improve their relationships.

5. Emphasis on gender roles and cultural conditioning:

1. RLT also emphasizes the importance of understanding how gender roles and cultural conditioning can influence relationships. This approach helps clients to recognize the ways in which societal expectations may be impacting their relationships, and to develop more authentic and fulfilling connections with their partners.

Overall, RLT is a highly individualized and direct approach to therapy that can be effective for individuals and couples who are willing to engage in a challenging therapeutic process. While each approach has its own unique features and strengths, RLT's focuses on power dynamics and childhood experiences, makes it a strong fit for a large majority of relationship issues.