How Does RLT Compare to Other Models?

1. How does Relational Life Therapy compare to other models like, Gottman, PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) and EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy)?

RLT trains therapists to utilize a variety of therapeutic stances to fit the needs of their clients at different points in therapy, and to help the therapist stay grounded and on track with the goals of therapy. RLT certification provides a larger library of courses and observation of therapy in action than any other model we know of.

Relational Life Therapy, Gottman Method Couples Therapy, PACT, and EFT are all different approaches to couples therapy, and each has its own unique features and strengths. Here are some ways RLT sets itself apart from the others.

Focus on power and control:

RLT places a strong emphasis on the dynamics of power and control in relationships, and how these dynamics can contribute to relationship problems. The therapy helps individuals and couples to identify and change negative patterns of behavior that perpetuate these dynamics.

Addressing childhood experiences:

RLT places a significant focus on childhood experiences especially those that are relationally traumatizing. This approach helps clients to understand the underlying issues that may be contributing to their relationship problems, and to develop more effective ways of relating to their partners.

RLT focuses on "Waking up the Client"

RLT therapists and Coaches understand that waking clients up to what they are doing wrong in their relationships is only the beginning. Like other modalities, RLT teaches people practical skills that they can use to develop intimacy and to navigate the inevitable cycles of “harmony, disharmony and repair.”

Use of confrontational techniques:

RLT can involve a confrontational approach to therapy, which may be more direct and challenging than other approaches. The therapist may challenge clients to take responsibility for their behavior and to make changes to improve their relationships.

Emphasis on gender roles and cultural conditioning:

RLT also emphasizes the importance of understanding how gender roles and cultural conditioning can influence relationships. This approach helps clients to recognize the ways in which societal expectations may be impacting their relationships, and to develop more authentic and fulfilling connections with their partners.

Summary:

Overall, RLT is a highly individualized and direct approach to therapy that can be effective for individuals and couples who are willing to engage in a challenging therapeutic process. While each approach has its own unique features and strengths, RLT's focuses on power dynamics and childhood experiences, makes it a strong fit for a large majority of relationship issues.

How does RLT compare to Schnarch’s Model?

Focus:

Schnarch’s Model: Emphasizes individual growth and differentiation, particularly in the context of sexual intimacy. The goal is for each partner to develop a stronger sense of self within the relationship.
RLT: Also values personal growth but focuses on the development of the “Wise Adult” part of the self, which is essential for addressing broader relational dynamics and communication skills. RLT sees the Wise Adult as crucial for expressing oneself with integrity and fostering mutual understanding.

Approach to Conflict:

Schnarch’s Model: Focuses on emotional self-regulation to manage conflicts effectively without losing connection. It integrates strategies to help partners maintain intimacy even during disagreements.
RLT: Deeply understands the current relational discord of the couple by discerning the parts of the person involved, particularly the “Adaptive Child” part engaged in conflict patterns. RLT aims to unblend these parts, empowering the Wise Adult to use relational skills effectively.

Therapeutic Style:

Schnarch’s Model: Involves structured interventions, especially around sexual intimacy and differentiation. It may use specific exercises and techniques to foster personal and sexual growth within the relationship.
RLT: Characterized by a direct and “carefrontational” style, where the therapist actively challenges destructive relational patterns. RLT sessions emphasize active engagement to promote relational health and empower clients to access their Wise Adult selves.

Summary:

Both Schnarch’s model and RLT aim to enhance couples’ relationships through personal and relational growth. Schnarch’s model focuses heavily on differentiation, sexual intimacy, and emotional self-regulation. In contrast, RLT emphasizes empowering the Wise Adult part of the self to use relational skills effectively, challenging destructive patterns, and promoting relational health through direct therapeutic engagement.

Each approach offers unique tools and insights tailored to the specific needs and dynamics of couples seeking therapy, providing distinct pathways to improving relationship dynamics and personal fulfillment.